Thursday, January 26, 2012

Urine Test

I can usually determine how drunk I am with a simple trip to the toilet. The first indicator is based on how long I need to stand there and is pretty much a direct function of how much I’ve consumed. The second and more subtle measurement is how long I choose to stand there waiting for all that liquid to pass before my addled patience runs dry and I flush. Sober, I’ll wait till I’m done; drunk, I won’t, and so flush when I’m bored, quickly realize my mistake, and race to the finish, pissing in vain against the vortex.

Photo by Sam Bassett (Getty Images)
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4 comments:

  1. Roy SchulzeDecember 5, 2012 at 7:57 PM

    Posted to ABC Wednesday.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Leslie:December 5, 2012 at 10:19 PM

    Um....okay then! lol

    Leslie
    abcw team

    ReplyDelete
  3. Roger Owen GreenDecember 6, 2012 at 1:30 PM

    as they say in Boston, that's a pissah
    ROG, ABC Wednesday team

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mama PajamaDecember 7, 2012 at 9:38 AM

    I thought it was going to be a story about how you had to take a drug test, and you drank one of those detox drinks that turns your pee yellow, and outs you anyway...

    ReplyDelete