More Than Ever

More than ever, Sandy wanted to put her old life behind her, now that she had married the lawyer she met when she was going through the court case. It had been an horrific ordeal and she would never have made it through without him. Early on he had stopped to offer comfort when he came across her crying outside the courthouse. Their friendship grew so quickly, it was not long before they were engaged. And now she was not only his new wife, but as well, his office manager, thanks to the secretarial course from which she recently graduated.

Pounds

Sandy began talking as soon as the door opened and breezed into the house without letting Joan get a word in edgewise. Wedding plans were coming along great, everything was totally in order. A swatch of cloth was brought out. “This is your dress colour,” Sandy told Joan, “perfect for your complexion! And here’s the pattern, you have to go for measurements the day after tomorrow.” “Aren’t you full of energy!” remarked Joan. “It’s the diet pills,” Sandy told her. “Who knew how perfect they would be to help prepare for the wedding? …and I have lost ten pounds already!”

!?!?!?

“What!?” exclaimed Joan. “I’m getting married,” Sandy repeated, “I want you to be my maid of honour.” “No way!!!!” said Joan. “You don’t want to be my maid of honour!?!?!?” responded Sandy. “Oh, sorry, of course I want to; I just can’t believe you’re getting married! How long have you known the guy!?” The last time she talked to Sandy there was no hint of this. “Only a couple of months, but the two of us are absolutely sure we were meant for each other. I can’t wait for you to meet him.” “Me, neither,” said Joan.

Percentage

“There’s no percentage in doing that,” said Sandy’s mother, overhearing Joan urging Sandy to go to the police. “You can’t let him get away with it,” insisted Joan. Sandy had awakened in the hotel room to the realization that she had been slipped a mickey. The guy was long gone. “First they have to find him,” commented Sandy’s mother cynically, “and then Sandy gets to have her name smeared around the papers. I have told Sandy many times she can’t go hanging around bars like that, dressed the way she always does; they are going to blame her, not him.”

Iota

Sandy did not have even an iota of strength to move. She was not sure how much longer she could hold her eyelids up. She wanted to reach over and pick up her drink. She was so thirsty. But it seemed a task so monumental as to be impossible. She looked at the guy sitting across from her. He was staring at her intently. Earlier he had invited himself to sit at her table and they had been enjoying a nice conversation. After she got back from the washroom this feeling of heaviness had hit her like a tidal wave.

Zipper

The stupid zipper on her jeans would not stay up. Joan had to constantly watch that it had not fallen, exposing the colour of her panties to everybody in the hall. She would get comments from the guys like, “Ooooh, my favourite shade of blue.” And it was just when she had gotten those jeans the way she liked them – soft and faded, the big bells frayed out with a soft fringe at the bottom. And comfortable, too – stretched out in the right places so they hugged her hips without squeezing them. She did not want to give them up.

Yanks

Sandy and Joan were waiting in line at the tuck shop on the beach. They were hankering for the tender and tasty fries for which the place was famous. Hand cut right on the spot using potatoes fresh off the farm. The people ahead were taking their time scanning the menu and making up their mind. “Don’t you have shoestring fries?” they asked. “Nope,” said the guy behind the counter. “Okay, just cokes, lots of ice,” said the customers and then left with their drinks. The server watched them leave, then turned to Sandy and Joan. “Yanks,” he said, disgustedly.

Xylophone

Sandy wanted to murder the instructor every time she hit the brightly painted kids’ xylophone, sounding the three-toned chime that signaled time was up on the typing exercise. ‘Ruby Lips,’ as Sandy called her because of her overly bright red lipstick, had this illusion that it made the classes more fun. But Sandy was determined to get her secretarial diploma at the community college. She had screwed up her life royally, but this time she planned to see things through. No more messing around; she had no intention of remaining a grocery cashier in nowheresville the rest of her life.

Winter

Late August and the weather was humid and cloying. The change was in the air, however. While the sun shone and the heat rose from the sand on the beach, the lake was moody with waves biting the shore. Lake storms signaled the imminent transition in weather. Soon the air would begin to nip, as the days shrank shorter and shorter. A feeling of nostalgia for the summer not yet over took hold of Joan. Labour Day loomed ahead, when the town would empty of tourists and the permanent residents would be left to ride out the long, cold winter.

Vacation

Back in town for Christmas vacation. It was amazing how much things could change in a few months. A new bar had opened and the old places now sat nearly empty as people savored the novelty of a different hot spot. Joan was dismayed; she had returned looking forward to the comfort of familiarity. The new place was flashy, featuring pop music videos on huge screens. When she asked Sandy to meet her at the Queen’s Hotel, Sandy tittered suspiciously, but agreed. At the bar, Sandy greeted Joan with a grin. Their old favourite haunt had become a strip club.

Used

“He used me,” declared Sandy, “I was just a sex toy for him.” Joan kept silent. It was not as if she had not tried to tell that to Sandy, over and over again. But Sandy would not listen. In fact she would lash out at Joan and protest that her boyfriend was devoted to her. So after awhile Joan just gave up and watched while Sandy got sucked deeper and deeper into the abyss, dedicating her future to her to this jerk. And Sandy was using him, as well. To Sandy, the creep was her ticket out of town.

Town

During tourist season the town was an exciting place to be, but winter was deadly. Especially if all your friends had graduated and left for university. Not everybody had left. Like Sandy, there were others who did not make it through high school. With little to do during the cold months, the young people who were left behind congregated in bars or at house parties. Relationships constantly shifting as couples formed, broke up, and re-formed. Town was like a soap opera in winter. And if you weren’t living one, you were watching one on TV during the dreary winter afternoons.

Settling

Sandy came down to visit after Joan moved to the city. There was a big event at the student pub on campus and the two of them had a great time. Sunday Joan saw Sandy off at the bus depot. She saw the look of longing in Sandy’s eyes, and felt sorry for her. But Sandy had dug her own hole. Without high school, she could not get into college. After flunking out, Sandy put her hopes in her boyfriend to take her away to the city, and then he simply disappeared. Sandy settled for a cashier job in town.

Ring Rankles

Sandy waved her hand in front of Joan’s face; flaunting the ring her boyfriend had just given her. “It’s a real Sapphire, set in gold!” she said, “Isn’t it gorgeous?” Joan was rankled and said hotly, “if he had enough money for this, why didn’t he help pay for the abortion?” Joan loaned Sandy part of the funds for Sandy’s crisis. She doubted she would ever see that money, again, and she could little afford it. “Oh,” replied Sandy just a tiny bit hesitantly, “well, he stole it.” Joan was unsurprised that Sandy considered this to be a reasonable explanation.

Qualms

Joan’s cousin offered her cabin for the long weekend because she would be away, so Joan invited Sandy. Joan imagined the two of them having a fun adventure, spending time by the lake and exploring the area. Before Joan knew it, Sandy had invited several other people. Sandy insisted it would be all right. Joan was afraid she would never be able to look her cousin in the eye again. Even if the cabin survived the party that was sure to happen, the neighbours would report to her cousin. Sandy had no qualms about these things, but Joan sure did.

Pink Palace

The brightly painted cabin was at the very end of the winding Beach Road and its only neighbours during the cold winter were uninhabited, boarded up summer cottages. Mars and Uranus got the shack off-season for rock-bottom rent. With the tourist season about to begin, they would have to be out soon. The place was already a shambles, having endured months of sheltering two young men as tenants. It was about to suffer one final humiliation. The words, “party at the Pink Palace,” started as a whisper, and then became a roar making their way along the grapevine in town.

Once

“Once,” said Sandy, “It was only the one time, when he didn’t have a rubber on him. What shitty luck.” She sat slumped in the passenger seat as Joan drove her home from the hospital in Owen Sound where she had gone for blood tests. Sandy begged a ride over there from Joan to avoid seeing her family doctor. “Maybe it will come back negative,” Joan offered, hoping to disperse the grim mood that thickened the air in the car. “Yah, and maybe I will stop throwing up every morning and I’ll finally get the curse after missing it twice.”

Nifty

“Nifty!” said Joan. “Nifty?” asked Mars, “Who says ‘nifty’ anymore?” Once again, Joan felt like a dork. Mars was so cool and worldly. Joan was just a small town girl. She was smitten with Mars from the moment she met him, but he had that daunting girlfriend from the city - Angie – so beautiful and confident, always dressed just right and saying the right things. It made Joan ache to see them together. Now it looked like Mars and Angie were breaking up. But Joan knew she would never be hip enough for Mars. “Hip?” she thought, “Who says ‘hip’ anymore?”

Macaroni

Late night at the Pink Palace. The party was winding down, and munchies took over. Too late for the drive-in. “Kraft Dinner!” exclaimed Uranus from the kitchen. Sandy went in and put a pot of water on to boil but it was taking forever on the hot plate, so she put the noodles in when it got just steaming. Only half enough milk in the fridge, so she topped it with water. Joan lost her munchies at the first taste of the plate of paste that was put before her. She smiled at Uranus eating his, trying to be polite.

Lake Huron

The lake was a constant backdrop to their lives. If not for the lake it would just be another sleepy little farm town. Instead they had exposure to exotic tourists and summer romances. Not like those inland towns where there was nothing to do and the kids were all so dorky and straight. The lake was a life force and an entity that had its own special personality. Joan loved to watch its mood changing from calm and blue to angry and grey with giant waves crashing. Joan had visited all the Great Lakes, and thought Huron was the best.