Wednesday, June 1, 2011

> God = Trouble

     “But nothing is greater than God!” A frustrated Sister Mary Diane corrected me.
     “Infinity is!” I countered. God lived in Heaven, which apparently was in the sky somewhere. And God being God, he’d have a nice place, with a large back yard to accommodate all the dead Catholics. So it was only logical that the universe would have to be bigger just to fit it all in.
     “Laurie Anne, you’re not listening! God is all-powerful.”
     Just great, I thought to myself. I’m going to have that dream again where Jesus snatches me up, right in the middle of Mr. Dressup.


On their first anniversary, he presented her with an elaborate hand-lettered card.
     “But what is it?” she asked.
     “It’s our equation,” he said.
     “But what does it mean?”
     “Well, technically, it’s all nonsense, and I really had to fudge the notation . . .
     “No,” she said. “What’s with the arrow in the middle?”
     “Don’t you remember from school?” he pleaded. “That’s the greater-than sign. What I’m trying to say is that together we are greater than the sum of our parts.”
     So, at least he was trying. But all she could see there was the finger from his I’m with Stupid t-shirt.
Photo by chelo.face

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