Propaganda

Before we got to see the Bayeux Tapestry—all 244 feet of it—mounted under glass—we had to weave our way through a room full of informational panels (which were just as long) about the tapestry and its commemoration of the Battle of Hastings in which William of Normandy beat the horrible Anglo Saxon Harold Godwinson, depicting Harold’s death with an arrow through his eye, and how the cloth tries to stitch into history the righteousness of the Norman cause and why its invasion of England was justified. It seems propaganda in support of male ego is nothing new.

Inspired by That Single Drop.

That Single Drop

William the Conqueror was the first Norman king of England, reigning from 1066 until his death in 1087 . . . and, at least according to my family tree, my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather. 

     If you’re my age, you’re lucky to have even a photo or two of your own great-grandparents, but here I am with my greatest granddad only immortalized on the mother-loving Bayeux Tapestry!

Or, just maybe I‘ll reflect on the math that tells me that, twenty-nine generations on, I could very well have more than a billion such great-grandparents, and—really—how many drops of potentially royal blood can one body hold?

Inspired by Vive la Même Chose.

Vive la Même Chose

My DNA results were curious. Mostly Spanishy with a titillating 4% Turkish. This was 2016. Timely, as it saved me from Boydenesque embarrassment. Never again would I repeat (with caveats) our family’s «Grand-mère Zepherine était indignée» story. But then they sent an update. Ninety-four percent French Canadian. NINETY-FOUR PERCENT. Generations of snogging Habitants, lumberjacks, spade-welding Welland canalers, bootleggers and the women who made their bail. They all contributed to Barely Bilingual Me. No Basque whalers, Ottoman anarchists, nor clan mothers. A predictable tête de couchon of sameness. But just maybe, some Viking-Pirate made up that vestigial 1% Dane?

Image of Me from Ancestry.com. Inspired by One Copes.

Inventors in Heaven

“What’s he even doing here?” 

     Tesla tsk-tsked. “They gave him credit for inventing vodka.” 

     “What rubbish,” Edison spat. “Smirnoff bought his way in. And even if vodka were legit—here of all places!—it’s no light bulb.” 

     Marconi tuned the old grumps out. Always bickering, yet completely united in their snobbery. They had too much time on their hands. Who knew heaven was dry?! 

     Marconi kept himself busy puttering with radio-telepathy and people-watching—the Inventor’s Wing was chock-full of characters. Recently he’d been observing Smirnoff himself, curious about what he was cooking up on the sly with that American, Zamboni. 

Inspired by Inspiration and the heaven I imagined in J-Section. Image: Historical Artwork Of The Mechanics Of The Heavens, by Science Photo Library, based on a medieval artwork.

Mariupol

Circles of steel, circling trucks,
Circles of steel, circling tanks,
Circles of steel, circling guns,
Circles circling circles,
Trucks and tanks and guns,
Circles of steel, circling the city,
Circles of steel, tightening circles,
Circles of steel, circles of boots,
Circles of boots, marching,
Marching past new graves,
Circles above, steel in the air,
Circles within circles within circles,
Circles of fear within circles of hatred,
Hatred encircling, hatred reflected,
Circles of fear, coming with steel,
Circles of youth, turned to old age,
Circles of steel, encircling steel,
Pain within steel, tears within steel,
No sunlight penetrates the hard steel.

Sadly, the war in Ukraine continues to inspire. The image of a hospital window cracked from shelling in Mariupol was shot by Evgeniy Maloletka of the Associated Press.

Margibutt

Independently of the “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!” folks, my father-in-law, post-heart attack, came up with “Margibutt”– his own margarine/butter combo. The dinner table erupted with laughter and ever since then any get-rich-quick scheme talked up in the family is labelled a “margibutt.” My hubby’s got a whole file folder of them on his laptop. We used the term so often over the years that when my adult son called a work colleague’s idea a “margibutt” and got a blank look, he was amazed to find out that it was not in fact in any dictionary.

Inspired by Inspiration. Image from icantbelieveitsnotbutter.com.

Inspiration

The Think Tank was a plastic sphere containing 13,000 words printed on thin plastic strips. It had a window through which you could see the words and a knob on each side to stir them up. The idea was to watch as they churned past and wait for your lateral-thinking circuits to kick in.

I remember using one once in Mrs. Applebaum’s class; but its inventor, Savo Bojicic, had to live with them every day. Those words were all cut by hand, and they followed him everywhere. Said Savo: “I couldn’t reach into my pocket without pulling out a few.”

Inspired by my wish for a long-forgotten gizmo designed to inspire me. Photos from Shirley on Kijiji, who is looking to complete her Think Tank collection; and Welmas on eBay, who is looking to sell one.