March Approaches

The month of March makes its entrance like a thirteen-year-old who doesn’t know how to brush or (dare I say) wash his hair or even how to move. Messy, dishevelled, awkward, unpredictable. Cool one day. Too hot the next. Full of bravado. Always uncertain. He’s easily hurt and quick to lash out, but also equally quick to forgive and melt your heart.

He sheds his skin overnight and grows it anew in the morning. He is alive with possibilities and hope and energy. I breath more deeply in the early Spring and feel more keenly the change all around us.

Inspired by flipping over the page on my wall calendar. Image by Copilot Designer, prompted and edited by Roy Schulze.

Promised Land

Ricky’s twenty one and Jackie’s nineteen
but she’s done things he’s never dreamed
She’s got a devil’s smile, angel’s lips,
she’s drawing blood just swinging her hips
She says, “Boy, why don’t you tell me what you’re needing.”
He laughs but his heart is already bleeding.
She says, “I’ll show you something you don’t want to miss.”
He says, “You can have my soul for just one kiss.”
So she pushes her mouth to his
And she takes him by the hand,
takes him by the hand.
She takes him in her hands
And brings him to the promised land.

Recycled, and upcycled/inspired by Deep Thoughts. Photograph by Fred Ni.

Deep Thoughts

Dear Bra,

     I remember when we first met. You were thrust upon me in shame. Society could not bear the nipples of a pre-teen. But our relationship blossomed, and we became inseparable, wire tight.

You introduced me to Victoria’s Secret and encouraged me to be the biggest version of myself. I introduced you to hordes of fumbling man-hands. We went on to have countless escapades together.

     We snapped ties over the pandemic, and I let you go. Bouncing from place to place and brazen at the office. Soon to realize society could neither bear the nipples of a mid-life woman.

Inspired by Dear Diary, Well Spent, Seinfeld, and Jack Handey. Photo by unpict.

Well Spent

Remember that part in Flashdance where the blow-torch lady is talking to the guy she likes, and while she’s talking, she’s taking off her bra without removing her sweatshirt?
     Of course you do.
     But was that in the trailer? Or maybe in one the clips they took to the talk shows? Because I don’t have any memory at all of actually seeing the movie, but I sure do remember telling my brand-new girlfriend that I didn’t think she could do it, and she bet me a dollar she could, and then she did it, and I had to pay up.

Inspired by He’s a Maniac. Image from wikiHow.

Dear Diary

Chris and I sit in an Ottawa bar and read her old diary from 1976. At first with theatrical angst, but then more thoughtfully. Here we are nearly fifty years later, older but immutable pals. I love that we’re here together, and that she had the foresight to bring a pen so that we could add a postscript to the story. I scratch out a paragraph alongside that girlie writing of hers. For a laugh, we write like we’re thirteen, leaning heavily into our words so that they press through the page, ghost writing our message onto the next day.

Inspired by He’s A Maniac. Photo of Christine’s Diary by Laurie.

Travel Hygiene

Things are different when you travel. Firm standards become fluid. Take laundry. A seasoned traveller avoids it entirely. A shirt you’d never wear two days in a row at home can easily last a week on the road. Change your socks, certainly: on Day 2, wear the left one on your right foot, and the right one on your left. A third day is not advisable — just stop wearing socks. Or underwear. If you must wash clothes, a cursory rub with hotel soap will suffice; use shampoo for stubborn stains. Then hang it all to dry without blocking the view.

Inspired by Travel. Photo by the author.

Picture This

We drive along Lakeshore, passing by the garbage-strewn encampments and cracked pillars under the Gardiner. We turn down the New Cherry St. and over its just-opened bridge. He points to where the experts are carving out a new mouth of the Don to protect us from floods, and where, next year, the parks will be, and the new marsh (for the overspill just in case). They’re building in fish habitat and chimney swift nesting logs. They’ve got native plants going in — manufacturing a wetland to replace the larger one our city founders destroyed in their wisdom and drive for modernity.

Inspired by Grasslands. Inspirational illustration by Waterfront Toronto.

Grasslands

Paint a picture of the grasslands
Take a photo of the soul
Over ritual plains and rivers
Heavy winds are this way blowing

Running with the storm
Climb quickly to the highlands
Because the sea, she will come
At the end of this long day

Send home your sighs and wishes
Send home your fruits and sun
Remember all your days here
Remember every last one

You surrender nightly
On a road not taken lightly
You will travel with Her
To the end of this long life

Into the fold of Her embrace
With thine own body
Come find grace


Inspired by Travel. Photograph by Fred Ni.

He’s A Maniac

It was a still and grey afternoon. Perfect weather mood for a Saturday matinee. We left the theatre jacked to put our moves into place. That’s what Flashdance does to you. It started to sleet as we crossed the parking lot of Fairview Mall.

A man was approaching us in a trench coat. We noticed him but didn’t “see” him as we tried to croon the lyrics to Gloria. He trotted by our diagonal, halted, opened himself up and exposed his hairy bits. A flasher. Perhaps he saw the movie too and came out with a different kind of feeling. 

Inspired by St. Clair West. Image from Flashdance.