Thursday, January 26, 2012

Urine Test

I can usually determine how drunk I am with a simple trip to the toilet. The first indicator is based on how long I need to stand there and is pretty much a direct function of how much I’ve consumed. The second and more subtle measurement is how long I choose to stand there waiting for all that liquid to pass before my addled patience runs dry and I flush. Sober, I’ll wait till I’m done; drunk, I won’t, and so flush when I’m bored, quickly realize my mistake, and race to the finish, pissing in vain against the vortex.

Photo by Sam Bassett (Getty Images)

4 comments:

  1. Um....okay then! lol

    Leslie
    abcw team

    ReplyDelete
  2. as they say in Boston, that's a pissah
    ROG, ABC Wednesday team

    ReplyDelete
  3. I thought it was going to be a story about how you had to take a drug test, and you drank one of those detox drinks that turns your pee yellow, and outs you anyway...

    ReplyDelete

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