Status Report on Pleistocene Migrants

A million years after crossing into The West, two out of three Pleistocene species are still failing to thrive:
     Reindeer. Assimilated. Red-nosing with Santa since 1939. 
     Lemmings. Unemployable since 1958, when Disney used a turntable to make them appear to fling themselves off cliffs.
     Mammoths. Stuck representing megabigness since 1801, when Thomas Jefferson wrote of a “Mammoth”, 438-lb. quarter of veal. Their ginger locks, their tendency to rest their trunks against only their left or right tusks garner no notice. Poor old mammoths. Hunkering at the back in Kindergarten. Hot red eyes wondering why no one’s passing the leftie scissors.

Image: My Sweet Inspiration’s.