Friday, January 20, 2012

Momma's Got a Leopard Lighter



Momma’s got a leopard lighter
Fingernails of scarlet red
Daddy: he’s gone missing
I wonder if he's dead . . .
 
Cuz I read Daddy’s letter
Saying: Momma’s got a flame
Burning ’neath her collar for
A man on Colson Lane.

Said he saw them, wild and
Kissing, like creatures in a zoo
Now he’s a vacant corner
Can’t tell what he might do.

Said he’ll despise her always
And he'll drink a pint of lye
Said in ink all sorry
Coloured like his eyes

That he'll love Momma always
Like desert-loving rain . . .
Well, Momma’s leopard lighter
Burned his leavings all the same.

Cinemagraph by Jamie Beck

15 comments:

  1. This is just terrific, Kathy. Wonderful energy and wit and a sort of pathos too. Plus great syncopation. (My only suggestion, since it's one of my bugaboos--is whether you'd want to put in a little more punctuation. In some places the lines run over to the next, and in others, a stop is intended. I personnaly love punctuation in poems as it tells me when to stop, as a reader, and when to run on, and helps me with the rhythm. This is my personal issue perhaps and I'm sure no one else will mention it.) Terrific poem. K.

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    1. Ah, for you, K, two more periods plus a ... got added in. Hope that helps a bit; I'm reluctant to stud it with commas though.

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  2. Well damn, how much do I like this? I was prepared to love it from the first two lines, but it goes on to take a well-worn situation and paint it sharp and sassy. Oh hell yeah.

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  3. LOVE! Love the rhythm, the rhyme, the subject...I've got more than one leopard lighter but prefer my nails black! lol Fantastic word play :)

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  4. dang...this is awesome...the rhyming makes it even a bit edgier actually...great voice in this...

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  5. Excellent, cogent, and a stroke of genius to tell it from the child's pov--the outsider looking in, yet some of the reality --all too much--bleeding through. Fine piece.

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  6. Loved loved loved it. The action, the rhythm, the final burning image - wow-ee!

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  7. Love the childs eye view - excellent write!

    Anna :o]

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  8. wonderfully penned flow and pace that carried almost a whimsy to such a darkened emotional subject, really well done! ~ Rose

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  9. So very well written. Really LOVED the flow.

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  10. Wow, Kathy. The visual image you chose set the tone for what was to follow. You choice of words and images created a perfect voice and beneath it all, so many emotions just simmer.

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  11. This is perfect.. a child's eye.. the story of deceit and hatred.. and burning the letters... and pace of the poem. I really love this.

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  12. This is just so well done - love the undertones and it reminds me of a Garth Brooks song from years ago. Great piece.

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