Saturday, May 28, 2011

The 99% Monty

It didn’t matter that the costume was much too tight or that the hood made it hard to breath. Mrs. Orr was in charge of this production, and she insisted that the full body spandex suit was crucial to her vision of the play. She also insisted it be worn without underpants.
     “Death,” she said, “should not have unsightly panty lines!”
     And so, there stood Death in front of the entire cast, as the costume crew puzzled over this new predicament, the fabric stretched over his bony frame and his private parts splayed across his belly like a percent sign.


  1. If you wrote this without cribbing David Sederis, you, sir are a very funny man!

  2. OMG - Mrs. Orr should have consulted with a ballet costume designer. The dance belt is an essential part of male costuming.

  3. @MJ: We'd already blown the budget on the stupid suit and so had to make do with surgical tape.

  4. Gutenberg v. Darwin: With a meaning of “per hundred”, one can imagine that the glyph might have started as a horizontal line with “100” under it. Who was the first to drop the “1”, or to tilt the line? Was it intentional, or a result of too much scribing and too little light? The bigger mystery is how one of the little circles made it to the other side of the line. Was it a happy accident that someone decided they preferred? Or did it creep around slowly, over years and years? Kind of like the eyes of a flounder, only in reverse.


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